8 comments«12»Anonymous readerReport 2014-10-24 17:25:37I don’t know who’s talking there’s like three or four people talking and I don’t know who’s whoAnonymous readerReport 2010-06-17 08:47:00He even said Yo… Dude is MEXICANFbaileyReport 2010-06-16 23:42:35Great story keep it goingThe EditorReport 2010-06-16 19:01:33Sorry, but I couldn’t finish reading this “Supposed” story, it was just to difficult to read and understand. Xxx hindi There was poor plot development and your use of colloquialisms and slang greatly detracted from your story development. There was poor plot development and your use of colloquialisms and slang greatly detracted from your story development. Remember when you are writing in the future that you are painting a picture with words in your readers mind. Your “Choppy” way of writing with short incomplete sentences is almost impossible for the reader to follow a coherent story line or thought process.
