Kale instantly felt his brother’s mouth on his cock; the water being a lot cooler.” Its just over explaining. Mom xxx thats the only way to work on ur stories!archrevenantReport 2011-01-27 02:43:13Grammar made me stop reading, i skimmed the rest but spelling is important if you want to engage the reader. Kale instantly felt his brother’s mouth on his cock; the water being a lot cooler.” Its just over explaining. 33 comments«12345»Anonymous readerReport 2015-01-23 17:54:50MY DICK IS HARD NOWanonymous readerReport 2012-10-26 16:19:32This made me so fucking hard. Like, ““So I guess it’s a turn on to see yourself naked?” talking about Kale seeing him (his twin brother). Detail is good, but when you go on about stuff that you’ve already made clear it distracts from the story. 33 comments«12345»Anonymous readerReport 2015-01-23 17:54:50MY DICK IS HARD NOWanonymous readerReport 2012-10-26 16:19:32This made me so fucking hard.
